It’s Wednesday, my day to post a blog and I got nuttin’. Nuttin’, honey. How can I top last week’s blog? It’s not every day the universe gives you a giant pink dildo about which to write.
Without meaning to, I turned some Jehovah’s Witnesses away from my door a few moments ago. Two slow walking old ladies in long broom skirts, hoping to sweep my soul to a forever where I am resurrected in my perfect body (FINALLY!) and I get to romp eternally in a perfect meadow on a perfect, reconstituted earth.
I thought I heard a knock at the door but the dog didn’t bark. I opened my upstairs bathroom window, shouted down, “Can I help you?” No response. Later, the dog gave a tiny growl. I looked out my living room window and saw them shuffling away from my property, looking dejected. Probably nothing a good pink dildo wouldn’t cure.
My two British exchange students arrived yesterday. They are beautiful, friendly and shorts-clad, with perfect white teeth. They should meet my son. One is an American Studies and Film major, the other, more quiet and introspective, is an English literature major. They are both adorable and helpful. I hope my sons are as adorable and helpful when they travel abroad, representing not only America but their family of origin.
*Late Breaking News*
As I rode my bike yesterday afternoon, I caught this gorgeous, full arched double rainbow. If you want to hear something funny, go to my Facebook page and click on "Youtube- Double Rainbow." It has nothing to do with my rainbow, but I guarantee you'll laugh out loud.
Also-- drum roll, please-- the winner of the $10 Starbucks card is Anonymous. Now she can say she is a prize-winning writer. I know, I know, Anonymous-- you have already won many other writing prizes.
Second place: Brandon Kelly
Honorable Mention: Alexis Silver, Sunny Frazier and Analia M (for Murder)
Thank you to those who participated. It was a lot of fun.