I am dispirited and deeply saddened by the senseless carnage in Aurora, Colorado. Irrationally, I am irked that the shooter grew up in San Diego. How many times in my travels around the USA have I heard, "California-- the land of fruits and nuts." I think of Al Qaida and how they can point to an incident like this and say we are a demonic society. They don't need to send us their terrorists. We home grow our own.
Add to that the relatively minor annoyance of a verbally aggressive woman who punched me with her big mouth, saying I backed into her parked vehicle while I parallel parked. I quietly disputed her claim, and she became more agitated and bullying. I kept telling her we have insurance agents to handle situations like these. She wasn't buying. She lives on the corner of my mom's street. I don't need an enemy in the old hood.
Between her and "Return to Columbine", I retreated into my little shell the balance of Friday, most of Saturday and some of Sunday. Sure, I ran some errands and fulfilled obligations, but with a certain mélancolie de vivre. Inadvertently, I missed a literary event in West Covina on Saturday. I was still licking the world's and my wounds under my porch.
Thank you to fellow author, Carole Avila (www.caroleavila.com). I groused to her about feeling bruised and cowed. She sent me these two great ideas:
1.) Say in your mind to that screaming woman in a strong and confident voice, “I will not allow you to send me back to childhood patterns. I am a grown, adult woman and I choose to stand in my power!” Say it a few times throughout the day.
2.) Send out only what will not hurt you when it comes back. Imagine pink and blue cotton puffs, the size and weight of baseballs. Pink is love and blue is clear communication. Throw the baseballs at her, knowing that you’re only sending out love and clear communication. They can’t hurt her no matter how hard you throw them. You can also choose to figuratively shove them down her throat.
[Wow! How's that for a mixed message-- "Here you go, lady-- choke on these-- love and communication. Is that clear enough for you?"]
It's Wednesday. I've been out and amongst 'em since Monday. Today, I am grateful to live in this beautiful land of fruits and nuts, even if one of them lives on the corner of my mom's street in a great, big gorgeous craftsman she clearly does not deserve.